quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize