I think my fart just growled at me.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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