Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
