how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
