just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
