when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize