3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We had to coat check the pizza.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
