its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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