i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
