Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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