i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
