Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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