I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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