Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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