member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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