Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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