Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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