if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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