ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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