he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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