i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.