Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize