And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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