Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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