Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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