you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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