My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
third nipple confirmed
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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