I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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