Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
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