Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
