white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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