i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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