scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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