this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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