Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
