He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
