Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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