umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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