i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
