yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
