Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
