She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I think my moral compass just broke
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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