every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
