Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
where are my eyebrows?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
