The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
