You really coming over, don't trick.
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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