so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
