ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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