Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
