dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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