Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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