You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I hate all girls vehemently.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
