Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Sponge bath it is.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
