wat bout pragnant strippers??
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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