Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
