We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Alive.
So much puke
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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