Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
