Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize