Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
