He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
