I think my vagina is haunted
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
