drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
